Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you that I am definitely not one to brag about my accomplishments. For the most part, I feel embarrassed if I am praised for something I have done. It’s hard for me to tell others about something I am proud of. Since there is always someone else who has done the same, I don’t feel it’s necessary to point it out. Doing well is not good enough for me; it’s only worth praising if and when I’m the best, if I’m the only one in the world who has done it. For something to be an accomplishment, it has to be BIG and unique. Continue reading
Wording can be changed in your thinking, too. “My day is ruined!” and “It’s okay, I won’t let this destroy my day.” are both responses to the same situation. You may guess which one works better. (Hint: Not the first one!)
If someone would have told me two years ago that I would be at this point in recovery right now, I would have laughed in their face. Two years ago, I was preparing for another round of IOP, my third intake within a little over a year. I was a “frequent flier” and joked about how much time I was spending at the hospital. What wasn’t funny were the massive checks I had to sign in order to pay for the program. It wasn’t fun to be handed the same worksheets over and over, because the program is more or less a continuous loop of lessons. I thought that it would be a never ending cycle of intakes and discharges, with my “real life” in between in short spurts. My desire to recover wasn’t very strong and I became comfortable with the routines. I didn’t need to think too hard and I didn’t need to feel much pain. But eventually, I realized that I was wasting valuable time.
Throughout my stints in treatment, it wasn’t too unusual to hear stories that related to recovery in some way. I heard The Dandelion Story during my second time in IOP, and again during my third time, and it’s one of the things I will never forget. It’s a simple, short story with a clear message that can be applied to a lot of things, but it is a clear representation of what it’s like to live with an eating disorder. Perfection doesn’t exist, so we must learn to take the bad with the good. While it’s not always easy to believe or practice, it puts things into perspective.
A man bought a new house and decided that he was going to have a very beautiful lawn. He worked on it every week, doing everything the gardening books told him to do. His biggest problem was that the lawn always seemed to have dandelions growing where he didn’t want them. Continue reading