But You Don’t Look Sick!

It’s very frustrating to me that the majority of people don’t really know about eating disorders. The stories others read in the magazines or see on TV are usually worst case scenarios; those who are suffering miserably and are close to death, those who bring a shock value to boost ratings and viewers, those who have a very dramatic story to tell. The stereotypical person with anorexia is so thin that her bones are easily visible through layers of clothes. She must look sick.

While there are those who fit the stereotype, many do not. Maybe MOST do not. Being in treatment has shown me that often there is no visual warning to tell if someone is suffering. I don’t like to use the word “normal” when it comes to appearance, but the people I see at the treatment center look “normal” like anyone else. Because of this stereotype, there needs to be more education given, especially to doctors. Awareness helps and the more stories that are told, the better others understand.

Growing Up Disordered

While packing things to move to the new house, I came across a book that caught my eye: “Don’t Raise Your Child To Be A Fat Adult” I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing and the only thing I could do was shake my head and laugh at the ridiculousness. I asked my mom, “Did you see this?? Where’d it come from?” She answered with a simple, “Yeah, I bought it!” like it was no big deal. The copyright in the book is dated 1980, four years before I was born, so I’m not sure why she would even need a book like that.

The Butterfly of Freedom

I am not sure where I found this image, or who the artist is, but I absoultely love it! It sums up eating disorder recovery in one simple piece of artwork.

It’s so easy to stay inside the box for safety, but freedom is only truly available when you leave.

Planning to Avoid Excuses

I’ve been extremely busy recently. My parents just bought a new house after living in the same place for almost 30 years. I’ve been helping paint, move boxes, pack, all the crazy things that come along with moving house. And a lot of stuff is accumulated over decades so it’s been a little overwhelming. While my parents move to the new place, I’m staying here – in the “old house” – by myself. (Unless my cat counts as a person.) I’ve lived here all of my life and while I’ll still be in the same place, it will be different. Buying the new house was a very long process, months of going back and forth from one party to the other, so we’ve all had plenty of time to prepare for the change. I’ve talked about it in therapy and with my dietitian because it is a big change. It’s my chance to prove I can do really well on my own, or I can fail miserably.

Friends with Eating Disorders

I ran into a friend the other day after I finished my appointment with my dietitian. She was sitting in the hall waiting for her next appointment so we chatted for a few minutes and caught each other up on our lives. We met three years ago during IOP, both of us anxious to be there for the first time. We spent hours and hours in therapy together, struggled through dinners, supported each other. Five months together, sitting in crowded rooms, learning how to change our habits and fight the eating disorder. And then we had to say goodbye when I was the first to be discharged. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see her again and I knew I wouldn’t have the same support outside of the program.

Where I went for IOP, they highly discouraged contact and relationships outside of the program. We weren’t allowed to give hugs for support, even when we had to say goodbye to those who listened to our darkest secrets. I’m not a huggy person by nature so that rule was fine with me, although, I gave a few hugs to others when I felt it was appropriate. As for the no friendship rule, I’m torn on it.